And Valenna, I’m not convinced Phae didn’t write that. Oh wait…YOU are the one who had all the wine to take on board the cruise!

(Yashima: J/K) :D

1. Never summon a manna biscuit table unless YOU need them. Summoning a table takes time, effort, and reagents that you need for rebuffing the warlock group.

2. You should be at the top of the damage meters, unless a rogue, warlock, BM Hunter, shadow priest, or fury warrior is in the raid.

3. Mages actually have pets that must always be summoned to be effective. They’re called shadow priests.

4. Spell hit is worthless. Stack up on crit and spell damage only so the only time you don’t see RESIST is when you see huge yellow numbers. Huge yellow numbers = higher dps.

5. Always be the first person to take your portal. You made it, so you get the first ride. Subsequently, never let a shaman use your portal because they can “hearth” anytime.

6. If the cloth loot that drops doesn’t have the exact stats you need, it was made for a warlock.

7. You are the king of AOE. As such, you should be king of single target dps as well. Don’t let any rogues tell you differently.

8. Blink costs too much mana and is always broken. Make your healers dispel any movement reducing effects on you instead.

9. Never use bandages. First of all, they take up cloth that you can use to make bags and sell. Second of all, the amount of time it takes to bandage is equivalent to 2.5 fireballs. That means less damage. Always yell that the healers are “not doing their job” when you are not topped off, because they have the easiest job in the game as they do not have to dps.

10. You are forced to take tailoring and enchanting. The other professions are not even possible to be trained.

11. It is permisible to pull aggro because you can iceblock.

12. In response to number 12, if you ever DO pull aggro, it is not your chain critting at fault. It is either the tanks fault for not doing enough aggro, or invisibility’s fault for not being instant.

13. There’s no reason for invisibility to not be instant. Rogues can become invisible instantly and they don’t even have magics.

14. Hoard your guild’s DKP. Never roll on any loot that is an upgrade because you can always craft something better.

15. Pyroblast was made for pulling. Make sure to let the hunters know that you will be pulling the next boss. This is also the only time you should cut a hunter any slack.

16. Don’t bother speccing into any useful abilites, as they will become trainable in the next patch.

17. Patches never buff mages, they only unnerf us.

18. Keep your polymorph spell close by. It is the only good CC in the game and is necessary for every pull. Make sure you cast it while the mob is close to the tank as well, so they can grab it as soon as possible when it breaks while you are getting “just one last” fireball in.

19. Portals are expensive and time consuming, and therefore should be sold to others at a markup of 10 times the cost.

20. Roll on all swords because you just look plain awesome with a Sun Eater.

21. Mana gems will be worthless until they regenerate 100% of our mana. Until then, they just prevent us from eating flame caps. Likewise, never use a healthstone.

22. You deserve the shaman more than the melee group because if you run out of mana the whole raid is screwed.

23. Ignore aggro for the last 20% of boss fights. Every boss can be burned down before he wipes a raid.

24. Don’t use mana potions. They are for healers. Use a destruction potion instead.

25. Never put an intellect buff on a warlock. Their mana pools are insignificant.

26. Evocate can be used at anytime. If you are low on mana it is more important that you get it back rather than to take the time to resheep or move out of an AOE.

27. Never AOE because it takes to much mana and seed of corruption is better for it anyway.

28. Blog…never. Time spent blogging is time not spent topping a damage meter, and therefore, time wasted.